


Forgiveness

by Daerwyn



Series: A Collection of Drabbles by Helmaninquiel [67]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Scares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 02:49:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8311018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daerwyn/pseuds/Daerwyn
Summary: “I love you for you, don’t you dare think otherwise!”“You can’t leave me in the dark. You have to tell me these things.”“Twins? We’re…we’re having twins?!”Imagine being pregnant with Bard’s baby yet when you give birth something horrible happens resulting in the loss of your first child2015 Christmas Drabble Collection





	

Bard settled down on the chair, and you slid the bowl across the table to him. His dinner, a meager meal that had you scraping by. You and him had agreed to save as much of his wages as you could now, so that you had enough for when the child arrived. **  
**

His first comment when he had come home that evening was how pale you were, something you knew quite well. But you gave him the best smile you could muster and set your own bowl in front of you, before sitting. As you sat, there was the usual amount of pain with your movements, and you clutched your stomach, taking a deep breath.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, of course,” you said quietly, immediately, and much too quickly.

Bard set the spoon down, it having only made it halfway to his mouth. And you braced yourself. “You’re lying.”

“It’s… Elaine was here earlier.” Bard’s eyebrow rose at the mention of your midwife. “The usual check up, to make sure everything was going well. She says I’ve been growing much too fast, and so she put a glass to my stomach and-”

“Twins? We’re having twins?!” How he came to that conclusion so quickly astonished you. You had not even dreamt of twins and they said that a mother knew in her dreams long before there were any signs.

You felt tears building with his growing excitement, and the grin building on his face, and glanced away, down to the bowl that your one hand was clutching in front of you. “Were.” There was silence as he processed that, and you didn’t dare glance up to see the disappointment on his face. After a moment, his hand reached across the table, lacing his fingers with yours and pulling them from the bowl.

“Y/N?” Bard urged gently, for an explanation. “Are you alright? What’s happened?”

“We were. I… Earlier, the midwife was here, and it was so silly. I was helping her clean the dishes from lunch - and, it really was no big deal at first. But I started to feel some pains, and she had me sit down, but…” Bard’s hand squeezed your own and you took a deep breath, drawing his strength. “I went into labor pains, and she didn’t know what to do-”

“And you’re walking around? You can seriously hurt yourself! You can’t leave me in the dark! You have to tell me these things-”

“I’m fine,” you said quietly. “Elaine doesn’t want me to do anything too strenuous. And a little bit of walking around the house will be fine, but no stairs or heavy lifting… Once I go to bed tonight, she advises me not to leave it for a few days.” You dared glance up quickly, and he was searching your gaze, trying to understand what was going on.

“And the twins? You said were…. Are there children sleeping? Was there… did they survive?”

You held onto his hand tightly, as if it was the only strength you could muster, and dropped your gaze to the table. “I miscarried one.”

“What?”

“I miscarried-”

“I heard that, but… is everything okay? Are you alright?”

“Elaine said it was because… likely, a baby wasn’t strong enough. It happens. Melia had it happen just a few months ago. But I’m fine, and she thinks the other baby will be alright. She just wants me to sleep for a few days, to help the baby gain some strength. She says it’s very stressful for them-”

Bard’s other hand joined yours, and he ran his fingers over your knuckles, something that always calmed you down. “Y/N… I’m so sorry that you went through that and I was not here.”

“I should not have been in such a rush this morning-”

“No, this is not your fault. These things happen.” You chewed on your lip, to keep away more tears. You had cried enough. “Y/N, it’s alright. We’ll still have a baby, and he or she will be strong and everything we’ve ever wanted. We’ll take it easy, we’ll slow down-”

“But Elaine says that … I’m not entirely in the clear. I could lose this other child…”

“I love you for you,” Bard said quietly. “If that happens, then we will still have each other.”

“What if this happens every time?” you asked him softly. “What if I can’t have a child, Bard? And this will just keep happening… what if I can’t give you a child? Could you still love me, then? Could you still stay with me?”

“Y/N-”

“It would bring nothing but pain to both of our lives-”

“Then we will live without children,” Bard reasoned. “We will have a life as we do now. I love you for you, don’t you dare think otherwise.” You closed your eyes, and Bard tightened his grip. “I love you. And no matter what happens, that will not change.”

“I’m scared that I will lose this one, too.”

“We’ll be fine, Y/N.” You took a deep breath, and opened your eyes to see him giving you a gentle smile. “We’ll deal with what happens as it happens. But right now, I’m going to take you to bed so that you will do as Elaine has ordered, and we’ll finish eating in there.”

You did not even stand and Bard was out of his seat, helping you out of the chair, where your just over sixth month belly protruded. He lifted you easily into his arms, something he said was easier than lifting barrels onto his barge. The walk to the bedroom was easy enough, as it was only a few yards from the main room of the house.

Setting you gently to your feet, he tugged the blankets back, and eased you in, before he kissed you softly. “I’ll be right back.” He returned with the steaming bowls of stew, and you noticed that there was more than you had originally poured into your bowl. “You need as much food as you can get. The healthier you stay, the less in danger you will be.”

You accepted the bowl quietly, swallowing. “I… I fear that I can’t give you a family as you want. I’ve already lost our first child-”

“All I want is you,” Bard whispered softly. “Anything else is a bonus, on top of you. I’ll take whatever fate gives us, as long as you and I can sit in this bed for the end of our days, and complain about how Alfrid is going to bring our ends.”

You laughed quietly. “I’d rather not talk about Alfrid while in bed with you, love.”

“Agreed.” He kissed your forehead softly, and nestled close to you, so that your head rested on his shoulder and your legs were side by side. “This means that I had better remember how to cook, or we shall both starve.”

“Oh, no, I’ll cook-”

“You are to stay in this bed unless Elaine says otherwise,” Bard interrupted. “I’ll lock this door.” You pressed your lips together, to keep a protest out. “I’ll send her here in the morning, while I’m at work.”

“Do you go far tomorrow?”

“Just to Mirkwood and back. It should not take more than a few hours.” You relaxed slightly.

“Be careful out there.” He hummed around some soup he swallowed. And you took a deep breath and swallowed back more tears that threatened to spill, and began eating as well. He was right. You had to focus on your own health, and staying as strong as you could. Childbirth had killed many in the past, and you did not want to join them.


End file.
